The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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