she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I love having hate sex.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize