U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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