I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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