oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
