So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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