your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
