Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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