Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
