Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
