ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize