you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
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Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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