Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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