You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
