It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
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Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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