just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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