glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize