You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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