Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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