i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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