Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
