let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You may now shotgun with the bride
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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