Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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