BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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