Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize