capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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