and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize