I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Church boner. Awkwardddd
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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