theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
