So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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