i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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