Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
