Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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