ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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