Screwed.edu
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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