Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I didn't shave. On purpose
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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