I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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