I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
