You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
