dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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