i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
