Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
