I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!