you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
