How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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