After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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