you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
