Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize