Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
