walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was CRYING into my vagina
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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