That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
