Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
