Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
