just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize