conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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