I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
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i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize